Craptastic!

Posted on 2007-10-29

Ah, those driven, ingenious, industrious Japanese.  They've given the world sushi, Toyotas, rentable sleep cubicles, anime -- and now a new take on the porta potty.  It's a car poop pot for those too busy to stop and take a proper piss.

"Gives new meaning to "going in the car"

TOKYO (Reuters) - If you're stuck in traffic when Mother Nature calls, Japan's Kaneko Sangyo Co. has developed the loo for you.

The manufacturer of plastic car accessories drew back the curtain on Tuesday on its new portable toilet for cars.

The toilet comes with a curtain large enough to conceal users and a plastic bag to collect waste.

"The commode will come in handy during major disasters such as earthquakes or when you are caught in a traffic jam," a company official told reporters, according to Kyodo News.

Japan is situated on the Pacific "Ring of Fire" and accounts for about 20 percent of the world's earthquakes of magnitude 6 or greater.

Drivers stranded by tectonic movements or stuck in tailbacks simply assemble the cardboard toilet bowl, fit a water-absorbent sheet inside and draw round the curtain.

The product is small enough to fit inside a suitcase, the company said.

But prospective customers will have to hang on until November 15, when the firm begins selling the new product online.

----

Now, you, too, can turn your Mercedes CL 600 into a $120,000 rolling thunder mug.  Order yours now and avoid the holiday rush.  It's the perfect gift for that busy commuter in your family.

WTF?

I suppose it's an improvement over members of the drunken French (not particularly known for their hygiene, anyway) aristocracy back in Marie Antoinette's time taking dumps in their opera boxes and flinging poo in besotted disdain at the Great Unwashed in the cheap seats below.

But not really.  

Just yuck!

On my count.  One, two, three.  Everybody say, "Ee-uuu-www."

Mitt Romney and the Republican Party's Janet Jackson Strategy

Posted on 2007-10-24

Okay, so now it's official.  Mitt Romney, the monied Mormon, Republican, Ken-doll presidential candidate, who recently blew off a wheelchair-bound voter inquiring about Romney's stand on medical marijuana, is not only an insensitive jerk.

He's a nitwit.

What follows is a blog entry by Eric Schulze.  It's such an unbelievable post, I'm reproducing it in full here -- along with (of course) my response.

Mitt Needs Some Rest.... - October 23, 2007

Mitt made the unbelievable slip yesterday, not only of mixing up Obama and Osama briefly in a sentence -- that would be understandable -- but of actually confounding their positions. Somehow he tangled in his head Osama's call for to reinvigorate the stalled jihad in Iraq and Obama's insistence that we should bug out of Iraq yesterday.

"Actually, just look at what Osam - Barack Obama - said just yesterday. Barack Obama, calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield. ... It's almost as if the Democratic contenders for president are living in fantasyland. Their idea for jihad is to retreat, and their idea for the economy is to also retreat. And in my view, both efforts are wrongheaded."

On its face, the mistake is either hilarious or pathetic, but it's understandable in a weird way. First, it is not, as his spokesman later claimed, a mere slip of the tongue. A slip of the tongue is mixing up names. Suggesting the a U.S. presidential candidate is calling for Jihad in Iraq is a slip of the brain. A very weird slip for a Harvard JD/MBA universally acknowledged to be brilliant.

But like so much humor, intentional or un, it is funny partly because it rests on a grain of truth. Who is mad as hell that we are in Iraq? Obama and Osama. Who would have us pull out without waiting to stabilize the country? Obama and Osama.

Well, kind of. On the last point, Obama has waffled a bit, acknowledging at times that US troop presence will be needed for some time. But here's what his campaign spokesman had to say about Mitt's slip:

Obama spokesman Bill Burton said, "Apparently, Mitt Romney can switch names just as casually as he switches positions, but what's wrongheaded is continuing a misguided war in Iraq that has left America less safe."

Look, I give props to Obama for having opposed going in. I think he was right, in retrospect. But once we are there, the real question is when and how we get out. He appears to have no answer to this question. At least no answer with which Osama would not agree.

Okay.  His blog over.  My turn.

Take a seat, Schulzke.

You're looking about as addle-brained as Romney.  You've tried so hard to twist, wring and contort some semblance of logic out of Romney's incredibly incoherent ramblings about Obama and Iraq, you've clearly spun yourself senseless. It's hard to judge what's worse -- Romney's stupidity or your own mind-numbing logorrhea.  The fact is Romney's comments are more worthy of that half-wit on "The View," Sherri Shepherd http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/09/18/new-view-cohost-sherri_n_64864.html , than of a candidate for this nation's highest political office.  And that's got nothing to do with Barack Obama's stand on the U.S. in Iraq or anything else.

You're right about one thing, though.  Romney definitely needs a rest -- something the American people will be all too happy to provide him in a few, short months.

If you had better judgment, you'd have ignored this humiliating incident in the hope that it simply would have blown over (not!), perhaps eclipsed by the growing scandal surrounding Giuliani's embarrassingly tacky domestic situation and his retention of Monsignor Alan Placa, a disgraced pedophile priest, as a close personal advisor.  Now, that's a story worth commenting on, but it's easier for shallow, cynical political hacks like you to pander to the ignorance and xenophobia of American voters by make witlessly facile, off-point remarks about a man of integrity like Obama than to spin a candidate playing footsie with a sexual predator -- isn't it?

The upshot, though, is you've accomplished nothing but to further publicize Romney's appalling incompetence and place on full display the Republican party's desperate flailings.  Mitt Romney for President?!!  Come on, guys.  That's the Janet Jackson strategy:  one boob out, another boob in.  The nationwide paroxysm of despair over the "assault on family values" mounted by the halftime follies of Super Bowl XXXVIII has been nothing compared to the sh*t storm of pubic and international outrage over the Iraq War, Abu Ghreb, rendition and the Alberto Gonzalez Justice Department.  The Republican party, apparently not sufficiently chastened by eight years of a corrupt, amoral, utter moron at the helm of American government is now trying to sell us another fundamentally clueless dolt.

Write what you will, lipstick on a pig is still a pig.

Mitt Romney for President?  Give it up Schulze, baby.

When pigs fly.

(Desperation.  It ain't pretty.)

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Posted on 2007-10-23

Dr. James Watson is a brilliant scientist.

I remember back in 1963 reading excerpts from a thick book in the library at Delaware Trails Elementary School about the discovery of DNA.  I was fascinated and committed the  terms "ribonucleic acid" and "deoxyribonucleic acid" to memory and never forgot them.

In the many years since, the use of DNA technology in forensics and the discoveries of the Human Genome Project, have recalled to mind that sunny afternoon spent quietly reading about the building blocks -- the double helix, to be more accurate -- of human life.  I've wondered from time to time what course my life would have taken had I been encouraged to pursue my active interest in science and botany.

Yesterday, I was disappointed to learn that Watson, one of the heroes of my childhood fascination with science, is -- and there's no nice way to put this -- a racist asshole.

Watson was part of the team awarded the 1962 Nobel Prize in Medicine for the discovery of DNA, but this week he put his foot in it with some particularly obnoxious, anachronistic statements about "race" and intelligence that have cost him dearly. 

Once one of America's brightest scientific minds, Watson remarked that he is "gloomy about the prospect of Africa [because] all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours - whereas all the testing says not really."

Icing on the cake was his lament that, although he hoped that all "races" were created equal in terms of intelligence, "people who have to deal with black employees find this not true."

You know, I'm an occasional editor on Wikipedia, that pretentious online, piece-of-crap populist "encyclopedia," and I encounter racism all the time.  White (and Asian) editors all the time are writing, in discussions and articles treating "race" and I.Q., shitloads of thinly veiled POV crap about black folks being inherently inferior, and whitewashing, appropriating, edit-warring, and generally lying about our contributions to world history and civilization as a people.  Wikipedia is a cesspool of white-bwoi ignorance, arrogance, presumption and pretention -- white supremacist ideology and practice thriving and feeding upon itself in cyberspace among the primarily 40 and under set.

So, reading this tripe from an old cracKKKah fart in his 70's whose countenance reminds me  of the nearly skeletonized faces of old, hard-luck, white-trash rednecks leering at me from the lynching photos on vintage postcards was certainly no shock.  Still, it's a low-down dirty shame to see one of God's creatures so amply endowed with intellect so tragically and abysmally lacking in fundamental intelligence.

You see, I'm what people call a genius, and I have the IQ scores to prove it.  The thing is, though, in reflecting upon the black folks I've known throughout my life, there are any number whom I consider my intellectual equals or superiors -- everyday black folks -- friends, fellow students, activists, professionals, blue-collar workers, preachers and scoundrels.

So, I know what Watson apparently cannot grasp -- what a load of bullshit I.Q. tests are, and that theories about "race" and intelligence carry about as much weight as a fart in the wind.

Speaking of old farts in the wind, Watson's idiotic comments -- and he's made similar remarks before -- properly have alienated him from the credible academic and scientific community, who've left him to twist.  In response, Watson issued a semi-apology.  No, he didn't admit to being an imperfect human being, confess his own racism and ask forgiveness.  He did, one supposes, what little he could manage.  He stated,"I cannot understand how I could have said what I am quoted as having said."

Dunno know about you, but my reaction when I read it was, "What?  Like you were having some kind of out-of-body experience, and were just an innocent bystander when some jerk who looks like you put his foot in your mouth?"  Maybe Watson was replaced by a doppelganger, or maybe his body was taken over by pod people while he slept the night before his presentation, like in that B-movie horror film classic "The Body Snatchers."

Whatever his vague excuse, Watson's British book tour has been cancelled, the Science Museum in London dumped a sold-out lecture of his, and he's been suspended from his position at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory in New York, a position he's held for 40 years or more.  And the University of Edinburgh rescinded an invitation to Watson to a -- get this -- "Enlightenment Lecture" on "DNA, Dolly and other dangerous ideas." 

(Awkward.)

And it serves him right.  Being twisted enough to believe blacks are inherently inferior is one thing.  My years on the planet have taught me that's something more whites than not actually and deeply believe (though most are in utter public, if not private, denial about that fairly sad fact).  It is another thing entirely, however, to be stupid enough to reveal such blatant and fundamental racism in a public forum and propound such nonsense as fact.

In fairness, Watson subsequently stated "there is no scientific basis" for the views he earlier expressed, but it was too late.  The simple truth is you can't run around insulting an entire group of people on the basis of skin color, telling the world they're essentially subhuman and doomed to poverty, exploitation and disease because it's some perverse sort of birthright or Curse of Ham. 

At least you can't say such things and get away with it.  There's just no way you can sling sh*t with clean hands.  One way or another, you gonna come up stank. 

Watson, you may be a Nobel Prize winner, but let me pull your coat:  This is the 21st century, and you're an anachronism -- a  soul-sick, racist dolt.  Odds are you're too old and mired in white supremacist dogma to be willing to, let alone be capable of, change.  And, frankly, I couldn't care less.  You're likely headed straight to Hell anyway.  But do the planet, and particularly our vulnerable, impressionable youth a favor. 

The next time you feel moved to comment publicly on the putative inherent inferiority of my people -- and just so there's no misunderstanding, I'll spell it out in elementary, single-syllable words that even a Nobel laureate can understand:

Don't.  Just shut the fuck up and take your dumb ass home.

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